


I Always Wanted a Puppy (This is Not What I Meant)

by CatiDono



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Inspired by Real Events, Kinks, Pony Play, Pride, Pride Parade, Puppy Play, idk man you know if you've been to pride, just tangentially mentioned, no sex only happiness, not the main crew though, sort of, well i mean Charlie is happy at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-03
Packaged: 2018-09-28 00:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10059665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatiDono/pseuds/CatiDono
Summary: Sam is perfectly content to just stay home and read, but Charlie drags him out to Boston Pride.  Shenanigans ensue.  Pls just trust me, it's weird but good I swear.(kind of an AU where everything's the same except they all get to rest and be happy and alive together.)





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is based almost entirely on my personal experience at Boston Pride 2016 (my first pride parade!). In case you were wondering: Dean is openly bi, Cas is panromantic ace (sex neutral), and Sam has at some point come to terms with his pansexual epicness. (Charlie is, of course, a flaming lesbian.)  
> This got out of hand and is almost entirely Sierra's fault. Props to friend-of-a-friend Taylor for wearing the (Mg,Fe)7Si8O22(OH)2 shirt that I've reallocated to Charlie in the fic. Erin gets the biggest hugs for beta-ing at 2 am.

"Did Dean answer yet?" Charlie asked, tilting her head to see Sam's phone screen. The T was packed with people, many of them sporting rainbows of some variety, and Sam and Charlie were crammed in with the rest of them like sardines.

"Nope. Probably didn't hear his phone go off. Cas didn't either." Sam shrugged, slipping his phone back into his pocket. "Maybe we'll run into them at the festival or something." Charlie just shook her head pityingly.

"My sweet, naive Sam," she sighed dramatically. "You have no idea what you're about to get into. This is almost the craziest parade in Boston, second only to St. Patty's Day. If we don't get in touch now, we're not gonna see them." Beaming, she jostled his elbow. "But that's okay, because you've got me! I'm like the Gandalf to your Frodo; I'll lead you on this epic quest!"

The train jerked to a stop again, and as more people flooded the car Sam rolled his eyes and leaned his head against the overhead bar. He couldn't believe he'd let Charlie talk him into this.

Dean had tried to convince him that it would be fun, but Sam had turned him down. Admittedly, Dean hadn't tried very hard, and Sam had felt absolutely no guilt in refusing to third wheel with his brother and his brother's boyfriend at a gay pride parade. Besides, he wasn't sure there would have been room in the car with the unnecessarily gigantic duffle bag Dean had packed to stay overnight in the city. But then Charlie had called, claiming that she needed a wingman and that all the hot people went to pride parades and really, Sam didn't know what he was missing. Twenty minutes later they were in the car, and now forty five minutes after that they were almost in the city.

"Hey, let's have a contest." Charlie sounded downright conniving, and Sam raised an eyebrow at her.

"What kind of contest?"

"Whoever gets fewer phone numbers by the end of the festival buys drinks at the block party."

Sam thought for a moment. Charlie's energy was infectious, as always, and he felt a grin creep across his own face. "Do guys count too, or just girls?"

"Hey, you've been off the scene for a while; I'll give you a handicap. You get anyone's number who's interested in your moose face, and I'll only count chicks."

"You're on."

 

By the time they had secured a place at the edge of the parade route, Sam was in awe. Two women on the train had overheard their conversation and immediately procured glittery pink gel pens, which they used to scribble their numbers on Charlie's arm. A drag queen on the other side of them had reached one long arm over Charlie's head and handed a post it with her name, number, and address on it to Sam. She had also offered, not at all quietly, to show Sam a good time, anytime.

The ridiculousness had continued, and Sam now had six names to Charlie's four.

"It's cause you look so freaking innocent," she pouted. "I mean, clearly you have no idea what you're doing here, and that lost puppy expression is charming the pants off everyone. Literally."

"I'm sure you'll catch up. You're wearing a 'stick with me and you'll be cummingtonite' shirt, so that gets you the gay scientist crowd. You're hot, in a nerdy lesbian kind of way. And you have really on point rainbow makeup.”

"Aww, Sam, you're the sweetest!" Charlie fluttered her hands around her face, unsure. "Does the paint look right? I was going for gay Braveheart vibes, only cuter.”

"It looks great," Sam reassured her.

"Oh!" Charlie started to rummage in her bag. "I forgot; I brought my paints with me! Let me do your face too!"

"I don't think..." Sam trailed off as Charlie stared up at him, crestfallen. "...fine. Make it a Pan flag, and make it small."

 

"This is incredible!" Sam shouted. He had to shout, because the last float's Justin Bieber was clashing hideously with the next float's Bruno Mars, and on top of that everyone around them was screaming their heads off.

"I know, right?" Charlie stood on her tiptoes and draped a flowery rainbow lei around Sam's neck. "I can't wait to find your brother and tell him you got lei’d on the streets of Boston!' she yelled, and they both cracked up.

"Where is he anyway? I hope he didn't lose his phone or anything." Sam started to check his phone for the umpteenth time, but Charlie made a strangled shrieking sound and grabbed his arm.

"OH MY GOD OHMYGODOHMYGOD THESE GUYS ARE MY FAVORITE!!"

Sam jerked his head up to see a massive flag rounding the corner, held proudly by about a dozen people in leather vests and booty shorts. It was black and blue striped, with one white stripe in the middle and a red heart in the corner. In front of it, leading the way, was a person dressed in a head to toe black bodysuit, complete with a hood and blinders. They had bit clenched firmly between their teeth, with reins that led back to a regal woman being pulled in a chariot behind them. Sam felt his jaw drop.

"Is that... are they doing pony play?"

"You kinky boy!" Charlie socked him in the arm. "You didn't tell me you were into that!"

"I'm not!" Sam protested firmly. He wasn't one to kinkshame, but he was also comfortably aware that his preferred flavor of sex was vanilla. "I just heard some stuff at college, okay? And that outfit's got to be sweltering. Is he—she—are they gonna do that for the whole parade?"

"Probably. They seem to be having a ball." As Charlie spoke, the person tossed their head, prancing forward a few steps before the woman tugged gently on the reins, settling them down. Sam had to admit that, whether he was into it or not, the visual was pretty striking.

Charlie saluted proudly as the flag passed by. "Leather kink," she explained in response to his questioning glance. "And a whole bunch of other naughty stuff. Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me, you know?" Winking, she turned back to the parade and continued to scream happily.

Sam stared in fascination as at least two dozen people in various amounts of clothing went by. Many were in leather, some in what he assumed were play harnesses, and all gave the impression of knowing intimately what each letter in BDSM stood for. Someone around the corner howled, and he turned back up the parade route to see a group of men—at least he thought they were men, since there were no boobs in sight—in puppy masks approaching. Some were in simple biker shorts and combat boots, some were in complex harnesses, and a few were even on leashes. All of them were snarling and yipping at each other like a pack of wild dogs. At least three of them had tails wagging behind them.

"Puppies!" Charlie squealed. "Aren't they so cute, Sam?" Without waiting for a response, she started cooing at the approaching people. Sam was pretty sure his mouth was hanging open again, but he couldn't help it. Knowing that there were people who were into this was one thing. Seeing a literal pack of them parading down the street was quite another. One man in the center of the group caught his eye. Where the others were playful and bounding back and forth across the pavement, he was walking tall with a sense of confidence that said he owned the street and he knew it. Unlike the others, he was clad head to toe in a body suit, almost like the pony that had been leading the leather kink section.

This puppy's outfit was more like body armor, though. Black leather panels with rich green accents were held together with shiny silver buckles and rivets that said this puppy had money. Or knew someone who did leather work. His mask, which was also apparently a ball gag, was crafted to look like a German Shepherd head, with sharply pointed ears and slanted eye holes that let his challenging gaze sweep the crowd. Every now and again someone would shout something to him, or take a picture, and he would snarl. Despite the hostile behavior, the crowd seemed to be cheering extra loud when he passed.

A spiked green collar that perfectly matched his body armor was snug around his neck, and a simple leather thong connected to it rested in the hand of a man walking beside him. Every time the green puppy would start to act up, the man would tug gently on the leash and whisper something in the side of the mask, and the puppy would calm down. The whole display was unexpectedly intimidating and sexual, especially given the behavior of the rest of the puppies. As they drew level, Sam couldn't help but stare. The parade had stalled, the way parades always seemed to, and it gave Sam plenty of time to get a good look.

The man holding the leash was wearing knee-length high heeled boots, assless chaps, and a leather thong, all dyed pitch black. His torso was bare, but that only accentuated the scratches all over his chest and back. Dark bruises that might have been hickeys or fingerprints ringed his neck and his hips, and underneath all of that were real scars that suggested that his day job was not much kinder than his play.

Sam finally raised his eyes to the man's face, which was painted to look like a glittering blue and black skull. He frowned. Something about that face was familiar. As though feeling Sam's gaze on him, the man turned his head and met Sam's gaze. Crystal clear blue eyes widened slightly in surprise, and it was that expression of confusion that clicked in Sam's head.

"Cas?" he breathed, too quiet for anyone but Charlie to hear. She looked back at him in confusion, then towards the man with the leash.

"Oh my god. It is. Holy shit." Charlie looked like she wasn't sure whether to burst into laughter or try to comfort Sam. "Oh my god." She let out a single snort of laughter, then controlled herself and glanced at Sam to gauge his reaction. Sam wasn't paying her any attention, though, because if that was Cas...

Cas had slowed when he met Sam's gaze, and the puppy he was leading turned back to him with a questioning tilt to his head. When he saw Sam he stopped dead, entire body tensing like he was about to bolt, and if Sam hadn't been sure already he was now. Dean's eyes stared out from the mask, panic rising in them. The song from the next float over ended, and for a few seconds total silence descended on the tableau.

"So that's what was in the duffle," Sam said stupidly, brain still scrambling to process what was in front of him. At that Charlie lost it and dropped on her ass in the gutter, screeching with laughter. The sound snapped Dean out of his paralysis, and he started to bolt.

"Heel!" Cas snapped, surprising Sam and Dean both, and he jerked sharply on the leash, halting Dean before he'd gone more than a step. "Heel, boy," Cas repeated, voice deadly serious. To Sam's utter astonishment, Dean only strained against the leash for a moment more before backing to Cas's side and forcing himself to stay calm. He stared straight ahead, neither looking at Sam nor acknowledging the questioning nudges of the other puppies, who had started to notice his odd behavior.

"Good boy." Cas brushed a hand softly down Dean's back. "Stay." Dean shivered, but didn't move as Cas dropped the leash and stalked purposefully over to where Sam was still standing, dumbstruck. The parade was still going on, and people were still screaming, but their little corner of sidewalk was dead silent as people stared at Cas, Sam, and Charlie in turn.

"Sam." Cas greeted calmly. "Charlie. I didn't know you'd be here today."

"It was my idea," Charlie wheezed from the ground. "Best. Idea. Ever."

Sam's mouth worked for a few seconds before he could get words out. "I. Uh. I tried to text you guys. To see if you wanted to meet. Um."

"Ah, well. Our phones are with our other things in a locker." Cas smiled, almost slyly, and glanced down at Charlie. "Sorry we couldn't meet earlier." Reaching into the top of his boot, Cas pulled out several small black cards with silver writing on them. "Maybe we can meet later. Here's where the after party is happening."

When Sam made no move to take the cards, Cas gently took his hand and placed them in it.  Glancing around at the people still watching in fascination, his smile widened. "Bring a few friends, why don't you." Closing Sam's fingers around the cards, he spun slowly on one heel and sauntered back to the parade, where Dean was still standing stock still. Picking up the leash again, he leaned forward and whispered something in Dean's ear, and the puppy growled slightly. Without another word, they moved on down the street, leaving Sam still dumbfounded, holding a handful of business cards.

"You know him?" Sam blinked slowly, turning his gaze to a young man in a shirt that read _It's Not Gay if it's in a Three Way (Except When You're All Guys)_. He was staring at Sam with something close to awe. "Angel's like, a legend in the community. I can't believe he personally invited you to the after-party!"

"Angel." Sam repeated. "His stage name is Angel. You're shitting me."

"Who's the puppy?" Charlie asked innocently, bouncing to her feet. "He was kinda cute." She ignored the scandalized glare Sam was throwing her way.

"Demon," someone else in the crowd offered. "I know it sounds kinda cheesy but you should see them perform. I've never seen a scene that hot." Far more people murmured agreement than Sam was comfortable with.

"Demon. Angel and Demon. That's what they're going with." Sam could feel the corner of one eye twitching.

"So, uh..." threesome guy glanced down at Sam's fist, still clutching the business cards. "Can I have one of those?"

"You can have all of these," Sam said with total sincerely, dumping them into the man's open hands. "Please. Take all of these."

"Except one!" Charlie snatched a card back before anyone else could grab it. "I need one. For posterity." Threesome guy whooped, and as the crowd around them turned their attention to him instead Sam slowly lowered himself to the curb. Charlie sat beside him, patting him on the back sympathetically.

"As Prince Zuko once said, 'that's rough, buddy.'" Sam turned a pained gaze on her, and Charlie snickered. "In light of this, I think I'll be buying drinks at the block party regardless of phone numbers." She glanced down the street, where the last of the puppy pack was just turning the corner, and giggled again, "Seriously though, this is hands down the best pride parade I've ever been to."

**Author's Note:**

> Did you like? Are you weird like me and kinda desperate to know what's gonna happen between Dean and Cas now? well it's on its way, folks. And it will be rated M for Mature (or E for Explicit).
> 
> Also gonna take this moment to say that my other fics are on their way too, eventually (specifically What's Your Name? and Hands On). It's not been a great time for me for writing recently but I'm slowly working back into it. Thanks for being patient <3


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